dazed and confused

Tonight I went to this presentation on Nicarauga from these folks that were with Witness for Peace in the 1980s and were able to take pictures and get testimony's from the locals that were living through the warfare and everything. It really paralleled with what we are learning here on the Border. Some things that stuck out to me tonight was this girl that had her arm blown off by a hand granade said something along the lines of: I wish when you grew up you didn't learn your country was perfect. And it's true... I mean, US History makes us look so good in everything. And maybe it seemed good at the time... but look at what we do... most countries hate us and want to take us down. We can't be the bully much longer. Another thing was that the people of Nicarauga didn't blame the contraband for their actions b/c they understood they were puppets for the US but they do blame the people. The pictures were amazing....some were straight out of a postcard it seemed... and the pictures of the people... you could tell they had a story and were living such hell. Babies with their limbs amputated because of an attack on their house. It was just so sad. I can't even imagine. Some of the pictures were of the kids drawing what happened to them and it's just so crazy. There was this one that had the house... her brothers were holding the doors shut and the contraband were throwing granades in the windows and shooting through the house while the girl, her sister (like 9 months), and her dad were all on the floor shot. Her dad and sister died soon after and she had to go to an orphanage. I just don't understand how the US can be backing stuff like this. It makes me so conflicted. One part of me is proud to be an American and greatful for all of the things that I have but on the other side, I don't want to say that I am American in fear of what may happen to me and I wish that I could move out of the country and become a citizen of somewhere else. But then again... how easy is it for us, US citizens to migrate to where ever we want whenever we want, while for others it is such a life altering and life long task. That goes under the list of things I'm greatful for. It's so easy crossing the border going out of the country but coming back into we have such closed doors. Such a double standard. Oh well... it's not going to be solved over night... oh that was another thing... one of the last things that was said was by a kid who, 15 years after the peace agreement, had blown off his hands and some of his arms and an eye b/c of a type of granade. He said something along the lines of: war cannot be stopped over night like it starts... he said more but i can't remember it all... I will get back to that... but these kids who are younger than me are making these statements that educated adults make... but then again, they are educated adults, they see what we read about....

Well, I need to get to bed.... I HAVE to read a 315pg book and write a paper on it by friday... plus all the other homework I have so I need my rest.... Much Love! Until next time...